It's a gorgeous day outside. Here in the house it's difficult to really feel the happy, bright energy of spring. My midwife just left. It was our last appointment. She was the one other person that shared Kai's growth, death and birth with my husband and I. It's a strange felling. 

I walked back into the house after hugging her and saying good-bye. She said to 'keep in touch', but I can never tell if people really mean it or if it what they feel they should say. She drove off and I walked back up the steps into my home. Two seconds after stepping in the door I felt my heart drop in my chest and tears began to well up in my eyes. I'm still teary eyed as I write this. Why am I crying? I didn't think saying good-bye to my midwife would be so heart wrenching!...